Friday, March 21, 2014

How To Destroy Your Husband - Step 2

Last month I started a series called "How To Destroy Your Husband."  (You can check out step 1 of this series HERE.)  Step 1 was on criticizing your husband in public.  Step 2 is similar - humiliating your husband in public. 
My husband complains that I “overshare” on Facebook. Clearly, his hemorrhoids are just making him cranky.

The picture above is an attempt to start things off with a little humor, but humiliating our husbands publicly is serious business.  Many women would never "disrespect" their husband in public, but they are quick to tell a "hilarious" story - where their husband comes off looking stupid or inept.  Its so easy to do - especially if we are more concerned with getting a laugh (or "likes" on Facebook) than we are with our husband's feelings.  And its so much easier these days - with the invention of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.  Often, we post things instantly - without thinking. 
Whether its a story about his mispronouncing a word or misreading directions, or its an anecdote about him messing up a diaper change or dressing your child in an outfit that doesn't match, it may seem like no big deal to you, but to him it may be a HUGE deal. A man's status is HUGE to them. How others view them is a BIG DEAL. As my husband told me, that's why, when a man is introduced to another man, the first thing he almost always says is, "What do you do?" Status, respect, place in life - its like air to them. That's why the respect issue is such a hot topic in marriage. And humiliation is right up there as well. Before you tell a "funny" story on Facebook or to friends or family, think about how it makes your husband look. Does it make him look stupid, uneducated, uncoordinated, out of shape, like a bad father or husband, like he's not very good at his job? If so, don't tell it.  It may be "worth a laugh," but is it worth your husband's embarrassment?

One REALLY HORRIBLE thing to do is humiliate your husband in front of your kids.  If you'd like an example, check out the beginning of this Everybody Loves Raymond episode, called "Whose Side Are You On?"  (Anybody else think Everybody Loves Raymond is the PERFECT show for marriage counseling? Seriously!  This show is FULL of examples that we can look at!)  In this episode, Ray finds out that his wife has been making bets with the kids on things that he will "mess up" - like not noticing her new haircut, being late, or forgetting to pick things up at the grocery store.  Check out Ray's reaction.  Being a sitcom, its humorous, but you can tell he feels completely betrayed.  Can you really expect your kids to see their father as an authority figure worthy of respect if you treat him like a clown?

As a wife, I should be the one building my husband up, showing him respect, and making him look like a hero! When I speak about him in public, when I speak about him to family, when I speak about him to our children, I should be his biggest cheerleader.  People should think I'm his public relations representative! - Because that's what God wants me to be. 

This Girl Loves Her Husband (vintage) - gift idea for wife marriage wedding anniversary Mother's day Valentine's tshirt t-shirt tee shirt on Etsy, $14.95
The Bible tells us that we should edify - or "build up" - one another (Ephesians 4:29). Shouldn't that first apply to our spouses? Why would we ever want them to look stupid, or foolish, or klutzy in front of others? After all, we married them!

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